Since you are out to your wife, I am assuming she is on board with you wearing your hair more feminine. If so, maybe she might have some suggestions.
My last haircut was over 8 months ago, just before everything shut down. At the time I was toying with the idea of growing out my hair. When the stylist asked me how I would like it cut I told her I wanted something which could be easily styled for whichever mode I was dressing in. She totally got it. If I can ever feel safe in a salon, I want to go back to her and ask for a bob.
Good luck and enjoy!