Try to find the “nightmare” messages on this forum and see if she might be willing to look at it. So many come out after years of marriage or was discovered by accident and usually the results are not positive. She’s probably wondering if you have any homosexual tendencies or if at some point you want to transition to full-time. If she’s thinking about having children with you, what will the home and nurturing children look like? She’s banking her lifetime on you and she’s probably wondering if she’ll be able to grow old with her husband or end up with a female acquaintance.
You gave your soul away and that is your most valuable diamond, but you gave it to a person that can’t appreciate it the way you do. As much as it pains you, you can’t expect any response you think you should get. You dropped a bomb on her and bombs take time to process.