Sadly, I don’t have any helpful words of wisdom. You have eloquently described the situation I find myself in as well and I want you to know you aren’t alone in this struggle.
It definitely feels like a state of limbo. One day my wife painted my toenails and I was hopeful that things were heading to a better place and the next time we directly talked about it things just seemed worse.
Please feel free to message me if you want to talk more or even just to vent. I hope things improve for you.