My advice is Whoa! girl – slow it down a bit. You are rushing ahead too fast for both you and your wife to process this fundamental change in your relationship, both with yourself and her perception of you. It takes time to adjust.
I hope you are not offended by what I am about to say.
I think you are being a bit self-centred here. It’s not all about you. You need to pay more attention to your wife’s needs and give her the time she needs to come to terms with the new you. Cut back on the dressing and lippy – yes, its hard to do, but I suspect your wife needs more time with her husband.
You don’t need to pretend to be masculine – just be yourself. And constantly reassure your wife that you are still the same person she married. Because you are; there is only the one you; you are not two seperate identities. I have been through this myself. My wife said she would never have married me if she had know. It’s taken a few months but she now accepts that my behaviour towards her has not changed.
It is possible to internalise your feminine feelings. Taking part in CDH can be part of this process – I found it a sort of therapy in itself. It lets you maintain contact with your femininity.
I think Araminta is correct when she says you may have a severe case of the “pink fog” 0r gender euphoria. Your feminine identity has seized control. One of the downsides of this is that it can cloud our judgement and cause us to make rash or bad decisions. It can result in spending money you can’t afford, do things you shouldn’t do. There have been extreme cases where girls have fully transitioned, dropped out of the fog, and realised they made a terrible mistake. Before deciding or doing anything ask yourself “is it the fog influencing me?”
You have made progress already by joining CDH, submitting this post, and having dialogue with other girls. You have concluded that you don’t have dysphoria! Keep it up. Read the stories and posts on CDH – it should start to allow you to make sense of what you are going through. There are some knowledgeable girls on CDH – like Araminta , and DeeAnn, and many others who can give you perspective. And Grace and Amanda will make you smile. Diana will figure it out eventually.
As for counselling – give yourself a little more time before spending thousands ( which your wife might resent) on “lend me your watch and I will tell you the time” counsellors. And seeking help from psychiatrists can be like stepping into the lions den. I have read accounts by transgender girls who have been down this route – they found that often the narrative followed is that you need fixing.
If you do go for counselling try to find one who has real experience with gender issues, and preferably is transgender or a cd themselves. Give CDH a try first. I did. And it worked for me.