Your first message sounds just like me only a couple of weeks ago. I was interested in CD for some time but never had a way to talk through things and ask questions. CDH does that and does it well. Of course the nervousness on things like getting out or telling others will be a longer journey but here at least you can talk (chat) with others in perfect safety.
I really urge you to join in the Chat just any time you are free. After you get to know us you should also consider sending out Friend requests. We can all talk 1:1 with Friends outside of the Chat room which is faster and less busy.
Welcome! I know you will get as much from CDH as I have.