It must be very difficult to air your fears , I feel there is no excuse for your husbands behavior.But I think he is probably feeling a little relieved you’ve found out and that’s what your seeing!, you could go to counseling on your own, again not ideal but it may be the start you need and he may then wish to Join you ! We should not hide our dressing from the ones we love but we do it because we are scared of the outcome if we are found out , as I said to my wife when I did tell her . It starts off with should I tell her ? Then we’ll when is the right time ? It’s very easy to keep putting blocks up for reason not to tell our better half’s and then it goes on for to long and you start thinking it’s ro late to tell , I decided to write everything down and let my wife read it . If I’m honest I didn’t get the out come I wanted but it did put it out in the open , and when we are both ready to go forwards it will hopefully make it easier . Good luck however you choose to go forward yourselfs I hope it all works out .