What a horrible way to end a year, and begin a new one; I’m so sorry to see you (or anyone) in a situation such as that. Your post, and your profile suggests that you, like me, are a Senior, who has been in a long-term relationship. I’m approaching our 57th anniversary, so I can relate. It was confidence that she would not leave after such a long time which gave me the courage to out myself when I did – and I was one of the lucky ones. I’m too far away for a personal chat, but if you wish, PM me and we can talk.