Hi Belle, It started for me when I was young (and that was a long time ago) and it was mostly about arousal. Everything feminine was sensual; the feeling of the clothes, etc. But as I matured, my reasons also matured. Every year I go on a solo retreat for a week to the Rocky Mountains where I have time to reflect about the past and think about the future. Prior to my Mom passing away, she gave me my name, Krista. After she passed, upon reflection, I realized that while my father wanted a “manly” son (which really never described me though I did try at one time), my Mom wanted a daughter. So now I can be the daughter Mom never had and I’m quite happy about it. If she was still with us, I know she’d be OK with it (father not so much). My SO doesn’t understand and hates talking about it though I’ve tried many times. As soon as I mention it she cuts me off. I guess I’m glad that my SO knows, let’s me dress around the house in front of her to a certain degree and has never told me to purge but it would be nice to talk to her about it. Stay healthy, stay safe, All the Best, Hugs, Krista.
