Samantha,
With all due respect, you’re assuming some facts not in evidence. You’re assuming all here should have the same goal. You’re assuming that people can only be accepting of themselves if they are “moving forward” (which appears to mean working on their presentation to go out). You’re assuming that fully embracing their feminine sides and feminine appearance is the most important thing and that all other considerations should be subordinate. I think that’s the mistake of the original premise of the thread.
CDH has indeed helped me “move forward” so far but moving forward actually for me has nothing to do with my physical presentation. I’m not not going out because of fear or lack of acceptance of myself. I’m not going out because there are things more important than pleasing myself. Would I like to go out? Sure. Would I like to be able to spend hour upon hour perfecting makeup and fashion choices so I can go out and pass? Sure. Maybe someday I’ll get to go out to that place again. But not now and maybe never.
And so I always return to these two points because they are true and irrefutable. A “fake pic” that is clearly labeled as a “fake pic” is by definition NOT dishonest or deceiving. I even provide a full explanation of what it is from and why it is meaningful to me. Nobody is “tricked” by my photo. Anyone who has asked, I have told them the story of the pic and referred them to its explanation on my profile.
And the point of uncharitable hypocrisy remains in full force. Any cross dresser who tells another one that she is inauthentic, mocks the fact that the other one has a beard, refuses to be charitable about the person’s situation that is different than their own, and suggests that she would rather see cartoons and potted plants as their profile pic is just being mean. Period. There wasn’t anything about that message and the follow up messages that was encouraging or helpful. It was all critical.
You wonder whether I have self acceptance because I don’t dress and go out. Well, I know from my faith that I am accepted, loved and forgiven — all of me — and that means a heckuva lot more than another cross dresser’s opinion in an online forum. I’m fine with me. Im in an ongoing struggle with how this part of me — which I love, btw — fits in, but for me, that doesn’t mean it has to be about how I physically present to others. And What you actually seem to be talking about is whether I can make myself look good enough to get OTHERS to accept me. Of course, I’m not necessarily fine with how others would perceive me in this way. And now we can add to that group some of the very people you would THINK would be understanding, empathetic, and encouraging.
Steph
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