Since learning a long time ago about wrestling with myself to get my back zip dresses closed up, I much prefer stretchy or pull over dresses. But there are a few that have just snared me when I see them.
I’m talking about the 3 piece style ensemble. Knee to ankle length skirt, slip over vest with the fake buttons that are decorative only, and the unbendable waist jacket. The skirt is not too much of a problem even with back or side zips, as long as you were honest about your waist size. Once you pick your favorite non-silk blouse and manage the micro buttons, you get the vest halfway on and realize you needed a silk blouse instead.
So, struggle to get the vest off, then the blouse, search every closet to find the one blouse you have that will match the outfit. Again, struggle with those darn buttons, unzip the skirt so you can tuck the blouse in, and immediately lose your grip on the skirt so it piles up around your feet.
Sigh deeply and count to 10.
Pull your skirt back up and get it fastened, then start with the vest again over your head and smoothed down, finally. Now comes the little jacket. Not quite a shrug and not a waist jacket either. The only way on is with your arms over your head and wiggle to let slide down in place, ignoring the ceiling fan blades as they whack your knuckles a few times.
It’s on and down in position, only for you to realize you still need to put on your earrings but the jacket allows zero arm movement from shoulders to elbows. And to add to your joy of the evening, you notice one sleeve of your blouse is bunched up just above one elbow, and twisted.
And men wonder why it takes some extra time to get ready.
PS. Arminta, I had heard that womens buttons were backwards so men could handle the unbuttoning process easier. Just sayin’.