Hi Lexie,, You have done the right thing you have reached out to the people who truly can feel and understand your situation. You may feel lonely now but remember your definitely not alone. There are millions of people from all parts of the world that are or have been in your situation. Finding the right in- person therapist is a good start. Its ultimately up to you to change your situation. Most of us find a way to express how we feel whether its in private and alone looking for opportune times here and there. Some of us are so very fortunate who found a SO that at the very least tolerates our desire to express our selves in the feminine. We all recognize by now that part of you WILL NEVER GO AWAY. Its simply just a part of you that needs some attention. You are in charge of making that time. Not anyone else. You are taking charge by just being here and reaching out to others who have been there and back again. You are a part of a community that is so unique but very diverse at the same time. When you embrace who you are as a person and begin to treat that part of you with respect and kindness then others are forced to do the same. Those who truly love you will be there for you but remember they have to know everything about you that is so very scary for a lot of here. We have been taught at a very young age how not to be vulnerable. One of the many things that young boys are taught is not show our feelings. Simple things like crying or putting on something that may look cute and pretty. What is strange is that message came from a lot of the woman in our young lives. Not because they were being mean but to protect us from society and their expectations. They were teaching us how to survive in this very tough world. So we begin our young life feeling alone. We learn how to hide our true feelings and bury them so deep hoping those feelings would never come back and as I said before they just re-appear at different parts of our life. Most of us hid that part of us when we decided to get married for fear of losing a potential partner in life. We continue to feel alone with our thoughts until the time comes we just want to share our thoughts with some one. Would it be lovely if we could share our thoughts with the one person we truly love and that person supported and even some times helped us be the whole person we all desperately want to be. Lexie, you are not alone its up to you to make changes in your life so you do not have to feel lonely. We are all here for you and fully support your desire to express that special part of you.