I don’t see there is a “problem” with the Wives forum/group at all, I get that those who CD want to know how their other half feels, quite rightly, and that’s where conversations between partners would always be encouraged.
However, having somewhere we can talk to others who have a shared experience and understand how WE may be feeling without feeling pressurised into accepting anything is vital. Most dressers on here would never think to put pressure on a wife/SO to accept more than she can at any given time but it does happen, and sometimes even just a comment like “go on, give it a go, you may like it” can be taken as putting pressure on and make a wife/SO feel guilty and inadequate and like she is failing as a wife/SO and it’s not what you need or want to hear.
I post on both the private and public forums as there is a balance to me, but I also scroll past quite a few posts I don’t want to look at because they don’t apply to me so I scroll on by.
There is also the Genetic Girls forum where anyone can ask the GGs anything so tthat is there as a middle ground I suppose.