For me, I think the benefit of at least some support and acceptance from the LGBTQ+ community outweighs the alternative. I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m gay, or straight. The trans umbrella is a safety net for crossdressers. If we weren’t seen as part of that community, then I think the cis, straight, conservative community would look at us as insignificant freaks (forgive my harsh, blunt language), who need to be crushed. By being included with LGBTQ+, we benefit from the legal protections that others have been fighting for, for decades.
When I first started coming to terms with my own crossdressing and desires, I absolutely did NOT consider myself LGBTQ+. But, then when I came out to one of my kids, I explained that there is a feminine part of me, and I like to express it and dress sometimes. Their reaction took me by surprise. They just casually said, “Oh, so you’re non-binary. Ok.” And ever since that moment, I’ve considered myself part of the club, so to speak.