To start, girlfriend, I’d suggest you find a good counselor versed in gender issues. With zoom, this counselor could be anywhere. One of first counselors had transgender spouse. Find one who you feel comfortable with. I’d also suggest meditation and seek spiritual guidance as well to find your authentic true self, and then practice loving yourself, ALL of your self. It’s a process consisting of steps, with the hardest being the first.
I wish you well!
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