Reply To: I’m the GF of a CD man

[Rhonda Lee]

Revealing our fem sides late in a relationship is usually tough and often damaging. My wife felt I had deceived her all our married years. In truth, I was deceiving myself, believing I was not really a crossdresser and could suppress the desires, which I mostly managed to do. I did not think there were others like me, and grew up in a rigid family, so had a lot of guilt about something I thought I could/should/would change. Why burden her or others with something that I thought I could change and which, if revealed, might ruin the relationship, or force her to keep a secret once known?
I did not tune into social media and did not realize I was “abnormal” and that others exist in abundance until age 60. Only then could I confront my own demons and realize this is who I am, nothing to be ashamed about, just a gift of being able to express both a masculine and feminine side.
I no longer believe that someone like me lied or deceived their partner. We just lie to and deceive ourselves by believing we can be like those we emulate and it is wrong to be who we truly are. In truth, most of us are trying to protect our families from carrying the cross we feel we alone must and should bear. We believe as we presume our partners would believe… that we have a choice and should be able by self-will to be different than who we are. I no longer believe we have this choice. I no longer am ashamed of who I know myself to be or unwilling to accept it. But that knowledge does not help others who have not been so enlightened or walked a mile in our heels.