To me, this post actually touches on 2 areas, gender and sexuality.
To unravel how you feel, I think you need to assess your feelings in both areas.
Is your id masculine or feminine? A mix? What percentage (5 to 50%?). Neither? Fluid?
Its interesting that in some languages (eg French, Spanish) nouns are gendered. English, not. Is it then a faux pas/unacceptable to misgender objects in those languages? How does that drive their thinking?
And what are you attracted to? M,F, both, neither.
I certainly don’t see it as simple as what many religious fundamentalists do, because there have ALWAYS been those who are attracted to the same sex, have ALWAYS been those who want to be a bit different to the rest, how they are ‘supposed’ to be.
Ever seen Schitt’s Creek? Maybe it matters more about the quality of the bottle’s contents than how the bottle is shaped or labelled?