Hi Taylor, welcome!
From what you wrote, you are an amazing young woman; brave, intelligent, loving, and compassionate. Your husband is a very lucky MAN. Yes, is a man, your man, a man who happens to see a little gray between all the black and white society and religion has put up.
Two things, if I may add to all the other wonderful replies you received from the ladies on this wonderful CDH.
First, CD is not simply like a brown coat. A man doesn’t “choose” DC like he would a coat. For most, DC is not a choice, but rather a desire or need that stems from a much deeper emotional and spiritual level. And like the coat once worn can be easily removed, DC can not… I had purged (throwing all girlie stuff away) at least ten times, and got down on my knees more praying to be “cured”. Guess what? I still worn that same brown coat? Why? Because I may have been born with it. And so might your husband. Only he is just beginning to understand this CD mystery.
Secondly, I believe your situation would have a greater chance for happiness IF you could find a good counselor versed is transgender issues. It would be best, I believe, if you went to counseling together. That said, I saw a counselor versed in transgender issues. She was very instrumental in understanding my gender issues, and provided positive validation. A good counselor would help your husband understand him/her self, and help your husband communicate with you on a deeper level.
Honestly, my CD is probably a blessing. It has made me a better man, more compassionate, loving, caring, and kinder man (my wife’s words, not mine). Now, I’m not waiting on my wife, but rather she on me – when she goes dress shopping. My point? CD could add something special to your marriage, if you are open to it.
Best of luck, Taylor!