Hi Geena.
Though I haven’t read all the replies because of time constraints, I have read a number of them. And it seems I don’t need to read them all because of a consensus that acceptance of self – “that being CDer or trans is who you are,” is the pathway to overcoming guilt. Once that acceptance is embraced the next step of the journey is, “what do I do with this? How do I manage who I am in a way that meets my needs while not violating the needs of those I love.” Ah, that is the $64,0000.00 question which if not answered properly may bring guilt.
So something to consider, “Have you yet accepted you as you fundamentally are; a crossdresser or trans or ________ (you fill in the blank)?”
If there is anyone that should be overwhelmed with guilt about CDing / identifying as trans it’s me. Read my profile (I believe you have) yet the guilt about being trans and self identifying as a woman is gone in spite of my Bible based deeply held faith. Why? I have come to understand and accept this fundamental truth, “this is who I am,” and not just something I do that is on the fringes, judged, and frowned upon.
My inner conflict now is not guilt; now it is frustration. The conundrum that generates the said frustration? “How do I get others to understand me as I understand me and therefore accept my personal expression choices?”
Does this conundrum create an inner tension? To be sure it does, but the turmoil of guilt is gone. I know who I am; I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made this way. This is my God’s design for me. In that I rest and find comfort for I know that my Creator is not looking to condemn me for being trans. Guilt is gone as I live in peace with Him.
Frustration, well there are many things in life that make us frustrated are there not? Yes. That is life in the here and now. But like all such things I enjoy the challenge of figuring the way past frustration into contentment. And I have learned to find contentment even in the journey from frustration to contentment. But the first step of that part of the journey – through frustration to contentment starts with acceptance of self.
Hugs, we are here to help.
Your friend,
Charrie
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