You are not much different than most of us here because all of us had doubts and frustration at some point and many still struggle. You can repress those feelings for years but its always there lurking. It takes a mentally tough person to deal with being a CD but once you can find a place of peace in your mind it becomes easy. Accepting yourself is the key and there can be many barriers to that place but we are who we are and its not going away. The best of luck to you on your journey.