I would guess that you have been athenizing (feminizing) for some time, perhaps decades, and have developed an identifiable, feminine persona, that you exhibit when circumstances allow.
To have multiple personalities is normal. You exhibit one ‘face’ (‘persona’ is Greek for ‘face’) to a teacher, a police officer, a religious figure, your mother, your employees, etc. Personalities are modifiable and interchangeable but they have to develop and are shaped by numerous factors generally simplistically portrayed as ‘nature’ and ‘nurture’. Hormones and endorphins modify behaviour. Social values and pressure modify behaviour. It can be complicated. Your testosterone can create such a strong, masculine drive that requires a more-than-usual degree of femininity and one way to acquire that femininity is to create it within one’s self. But there usually has to be the initial, motivating instinct. And it can become enthralling.
You may find that your feminine persona will tend to ‘bleed’ into your masculine person and the two genders interact in ways that modify each other. Even ladies can enjoy a robust claret.
Minerva.
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