I am one of those type A males (or use to be) that try to always get things perfect. So in cross dressing I want to be as feminine as possible. I have studied female mannerisms and practice sounding female. I am getting decent at it and it seems the more I do this the more feminine I am becoming. I have also noticed that I am not letting go of my feminine side when I go back to drab. It’s like I have let the genie out of the bottle and to tell the truth I am not upset with it, in fact I really love being feminine.
I have always loved women and wanted to be with them. I have never thought I was gay and never thought about being with a man, but lately I have. To be treated as a lady from a kind and sweet man sounds appealing to me now (maybe I’m Bi and never really new it). I haven’t ventured out, unlike you, so I don’t know if any guys would be attracted to me, but I would like to think so.
Anyway what I’m trying to say Hon, is that your are not alone in this different but wonderful life style we chose to explore.