I’m a minister as well and I would have answered the same as the church you mentioned, “…didn’t want to explain or seem to agree with my selection of clothing style especially to the kids.” That will probably not be a popular response, but we can’t kid ourselves and allow any and every expression on the planet inside the sanctuary. If the church has established itself as affirming and welcoming people of any respectful attire, then all blessings to you. Notice, “respectful attire.” If you are a nudist and appalled at the thought of having to cover oneself when this is how it was before sin entered the world, you would insist on your expression in the church too. I know Naturist churches exist. But it doesn’t mean that all churches must honour your right to not wear clothes in their buildings. And it doesn’t matter if there’s a group of you raising your voices about it. No one can expect or insist on their rights to a fashion choice. I am a crossdresser through and through. I would refrain if I knew a single person would stumble over this (but it doesn’t stop me from underdressing). “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything.” 1 Cor 6:12. I dare say it would be better to dress in a manner that does not bring any attention to yourself, in either female or male mode. If you really need to dress and receive affirmation so you can move on and TRULY worship, then find a church (where truth is preached) and worship there.
It won’t always be like this. Unfortunately, for our generation and possibly our children’s, we’ll have to suffer through the ignorance. Just look at history. What scandals were created when women began wearing pants? Look back further into history…what scandals were created when women stopped wearing head coverings while worshipping? How long did those scandals last until the church looked beyond those choices and worshipped in peace and unity? How long before LGBT is accepted in mainstream churches? We can wish for it now, but I don’t think it will be in my lifetime.
I’m not saying to give up trying either. We can inform and educate and be learners ourselves. Try not to be overly disappointed when the church you grew up in all your life is not accepting of things they don’t understand. It’s a work in progress. We’ll get there someday.
And by the way, nothing I’ve written even matters.
The only thing that matters is, “When you enter a sanctuary, where is your mind?” Is your mind on the injustices and your inability to express your true nature in your clothing of choice? Or is your mind on God? A time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. Perhaps another time is coming when you will worship the Father with either this type of clothing or that type of clothing.