Thank you Lara. I’ve been very fortunate in that regard. We can only be so careful, just gotta play it smart. Interestingly, I feel much safer walking in to a testosterone fueled bar as Carmen vs. in guy mode. I think the safety factor isn’t so much gender based as it is just being diligent and street smart. I wouldn’t put Carmen in any situation I wouldn’t put myself in guy mode quite frankly, and vice versa.
I used to teach women’s self-defense, and while it the class was of course physical self-defense focused, I also addressed how important mental self-defense is as well. Confidence can be used as a huge security mechanism out there in the world. Learning how to show confidence, walk with confidence, be confident, regardless of gender or what you’re wearing, goes a very long way in how potential attackers view you as a human being.
A huge study was done with people behind bars who were there for rape. In almost all cases, when asked how they picked their targets (when random vs. friends/relatives), it was the one’s who were always looking down, didn’t walk with confidence, appeared to be weak, didn’t look at people straight in the eyes.
I always tell my female friends… if someone is giving you the creeps and you feel a sense they’re going to do something, you can’t shy away. Square up, look them straight in the face, turn your body towards them, say hello. You need to let them know you’re human. Most creeps are extremely weak individuals… be the stronger person, and they’ll be the one’s who will shy away.
And of course, if all that fails and you’re attacked, well, that was the second part of class… how to tear pretty much anybody apart no matter their size.
Everyone needs to remember, the ONLY rule of engagement when you are threatened is, there are no rules. When your life is threatened, you absolutely MUST make every strike as if your life depends on it, because IT DOES! No fancy arm twists, no karate chops, no “moves”… you put your keys between your knuckles, you aim straight for the persons neck or eyes, and you strike as hard and fast as you can muster. See, the best thing that can happen in that situation is the person “grabs” you… pretty much tying up their hands from defending themselves!
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