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[postquote quote=593035]

People will give you “nice lies,” and you have to accept that they’re just nice lies. And realize they’re doing it because they want to remain friends. If Brian said he was OK with you dressing up, now you understand he meant that he was OK with you doing it without him.
I do the same thing with family members who hunt. I’m not a hunter. I can’t stand the thought of killing another animal. But, members of my family hunt, and enjoy it. So when the subject comes up, I tell a nice lie about it. As in “Nice buck,” when I see a picture of one they shot. Inside, I just cringe.
My ex wife used to give me those nice lies when I first started dressing. In fact she seemed she was in full support. Bought me clothes, gave me her old clothes, helped me with my make up. She’s a kind hearted woman, who felt it was her duty as a wife to support me. And she did until she couldn’t stomach it anymore.
And I was a moron for not recognizing that. I was selfish in my own personal wants and needs. And to pretend I cared about her feelings, I’d tell her that if she didn’t want to see me dressed, to call me when she was on her way home from work. Every day for 2 weeks, she’d text me and let me know. I should’ve seen right then, that it was time to pack up my gurl stuff.
A wise man once told me “It’s better to be happy, than right.”
CDing was one of the reasons I went on anxiety meds. All those battles inside my head about what I wanted and how I thought everyone else should be.

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