First of all, Welcome to CDH. You’ve found the best and most supportive site for crossdressers. No creeps trying to hit on you and no judgments made about you.
As for keeping it a secret, that can be tricky depending on living arrangements and depending on how far you want to go in looking feminine. When I was married, it was very difficult to get away with anything. Being single makes it really quite easy to get away with dressing at home, but I’m still at risk of exposure if I go out. And since I shave my entire body to look and feel more feminine, there’s a risk that people will notice my shaved arms and legs (and they have), which may lead to questions (only one person ever asked, but I’ve seen others, including my mother, looking at my smooth shaved legs).
As for feminizing, there are lots of good tutorials on YouTube for makeup application, for padding (diy and purchase reviews), shapewear reviews, breast forms, etc. There are also great articles here on CDH, and at a few of the specialty boutique sites online.
As for the name, I adopted the name my mother told me she would have given me had I been born a gg. But it seems to me that you don’t need to change yours at all as Chris can go either way. Unless, of course, you want to change it.
Most importantly, don’t get caught in the cycle of buy, guilt, purge (it can get really expensive) and don’t lead on a significant other or spouse. If you really feel the need to explore and express your feminine side, come to terms with what that means for you. Why do you feel the need? Are you going to be satisfied just cross dressing, or will you be seeking further transition?
Will you expect your wife or SO to accept your dressing? To participate in it? To encourage it?
I wish you success on your journey (wherever it takes you).
- This reply was modified 3 weeks ago by Elise Michelle.