Incredibly well put – as a cross dresser only, with no desire to transition, I nevertheless relate very closely with much of this.
Dressing fully femme and going through daily life, even if just for one day each month isn’t just something I like to do, it puts me in the whole feminine space that is in me – it completes me, and I can take a lot of it back to my drab life, and make that closer to where my life needs to be.
I don’t see any end game, just a journey in which CDing plays a role that is literally vital – life giving.
If I miss a month, as I have had to, due to Covid restrictions, it’s as you say, a feeling of being underwater and being starved of oxygen.
I don’t feel a need to dress permanently, which may have a lot to do with my wife’s preferences – I’m not sure, but that doesn’t matter as much as being able to remain her husband.
It’s all about compromise, and I do expect a certain amount of femme time as compromise is a 2 way street, so it works for me – but obviously not for everyone, as we’re all different, with our own requirements.
The fear of coming out to loved ones and co-workers is not without good reason – there’s still a lot of prejudice and ignorance around – but it is getting better.
More workplaces are embracing diversity – a friend of mine came out completely, just as she began her transitioning a few years ago. She was really fortunate – and is still enjoying her marriage to her wife, support from their children, and the company she works for is a big global company that has always been ahead of the curve on matters like this.
The only real problem she had was with her church, with which she had very close ties previously, and which essentially stopped the family from going as a result.
I don’t think it justifies that amount of fear – but understand entirely. It’s easier said than done, and depends so much on local culture, but grasping the nettle and talking to people calmly and with sensitivity is the only way.
I found it incredibly hard to come out to my wife just as a CD. One day, I just bit the bullet, prepared myself for the worst possible outcome – if she really can’t accept me even a little bit as a CD, then there’s no partnership any more.
Fortunately, I have a bit of a track record, and we’re building on that, very slowly.
Thank you for the inspiring words!