Oh you poor thing Carmen. I am so confused too with all that goes on these days. I say I am trans as I have transitioned from male to female in appearance and how I live my life. I have had no HRT or surgery but have that option should I wish to take it. I have read up and know a lot about the subject and have numerous labels that I could apply to myself but choose trans as that suits, being acceptable to those I meet who ask.
I haven’t engaged with trans groups or sought any comment so cannot know what happens within them but saddened if you are being chastened for not conforming to their rules. What gives any one the right to tell you who you are and what to do? I agree that there is a perceived norm to being trans and a well worn path. How far you wish to take the path is up to you and not to someone else to dictate nor criticise if you want to do something else. As for social media! Any woman gets adverse comments if they appear ‘fake’. If you enter an open forum it is something you have to live with as it is a shallow world and, thankfully, one I am happy to avoid. I understand that with the younger generation social media is an essential part of life and the need for affirmation from peers is part of it. The flip side is that there are the brick bats to contend with which is hard for this generation to deal with. There is a solution – get off it!
You are blessed with a body that you are proud of that exudes femininity which needs no HRT or any surgery. That is an enviable position to be in and that can court envy from some so they will be disingenuous in their comments. It does not mean that you aren’t trans, far from it. It just means that you have moved seamlessly into your female self and that can piss people off so they try to demean you at every turn. Do you really need to court the views of others outside of your true friends and family? Look to yourself Donna and look at the reaction, or lack of, when you go out, does anything indicate that you are anything other than a woman? I know it is lovely to get a comment about something you are wearing or a compliment but the main thing is to go about your day as if it is normal. If nothing negative happens then the day is a success and so are you.
It is up to you how you live your life and to enjoy it as the person you are. You don’t need a label and you don’t need the negativity of the envy or righteousness of others.
You are a shining light here and we hope you never leave.