Hi Rayaa,
It seems that you have discovered your true self from your dealings with a therapist and , from what you say, you would be considered Trans. Sadly you aren’t in a position to live as you want to live. This is something so many of us here have had to deal with. The issue is how can you express the true you without upsetting your family and the status quo. It was a good call from your therapist to reach out here as there is a good community here and you are not alone now.
Where next? The next stage is to start to reach out and find the opportunities to get support and places to be yourself. Do you have some real good friends who you could confide in or is there an LGBT society within your college or locality?
Society has moved on and is much more accepting but there are always those that are going to lack understanding due to the way they have been bought up and conditioned by society. This makes life hard and I can understand your position and fears with your family. All I can suggest is that you try and find the groups or friends that are accepting and reach out to them. You are making steps to establish your inner self and continue that as it will make you stronger. To me the most important thing is to focus hard on your education to get the best grades you can. Why? Because this is your passport to independence in getting a good job and money to get your own space where you can be the real self. With all that is going on in your mind clear the decks and focus on your education to gain that freedom. In the background work to make Rayaa happen. You are young and have a life ahead of you just don’t panic and make a plan, focus on the means to get there. It isn’t going to happen overnight but you can make it happen, just be patient.
You have the support of everyone here and feel free to P.M. me if there is anything you want to ask.
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