I remember vividly on how I started.
When I was as young as 9 or 10 years old I would see crossdressing characters in TV shows and a sudden curiosity began brewing within me. As time went on I found my desire to try it to grow stronger. Eventually when I was still around 10/11 years old I began sneaking into my mom’s and sister’s closets and trying on their clothes. This continued for a few months before I stopped on account of me being afraid I’d get caught and very intense feelings of shame.
Fast forward to high school and the jealousy towards girls was still very much there but I did everything in my power to try and suppress my desires to crossdress and I kept my feminine side hidden away. I was bullied in high school because people thought I was gay. While I’m not, I guess they knew something at the time I either didn’t know or refused to accept.
Now fast forward to college, in 2018 when I was away for a semester. In particular when April/May rolled around. The feelings of wanting to crossdress were at an all time high. I was so jealous of what girls got to wear and I know I really wanted to wear what they did. I was almost bitter that I couldn’t. I can’t explain it. I just wanted to be like them, I wanted to wear what they were able to wear. But I still refused to let my secret out. That is until the following year when I couldn’t take it anymore. It was the same time of year April/May and I just decided that I’m tired of keeping this hidden. I wanted to wear women’s clothes. So i began telling people. It was so hard. It was excruciatingly hard. But I got support and worked up the courage to eventually tell my mom. Turns out she knew someone was rummaging through her things all this time from all those years ago, but never suspected me. From then I began getting my new wardrobe and the rest is history.
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