Hello Joanne. You posed such a simple question, but the answers may be very complex and time dependent.
I’ve been addicted to nylon lingerie (am I a fetishist) for most of my 79 years. Early in my marriage I was able to get to my wife to accept me wearing panties and occasionally a nightie. I fondly remember her shopping for lingerie with me and for me. At that time, there was never a thought of intimacy with a man; I was a very heterosexual male.
As years passed, my desire to dress in lingerie increased in frequency and in variety. At the same time, my wife was losing interest in sex. Not wanting to cheat on her, I ultimately resorted to self gratification with my lingerie, inspired by internet photos of men and women in provocative lingerie. Rather quickly I lost interest in the women. I’m not sure why; perhaps it was because society generally frowned on what I was doing, and I was looking for approval and acceptance by other men doing the same thing. But if you asked me your question then I would have said absolutely heterosexual.
As many of you will agree, once you start down that slippery slope, it is easy to lose control. I went from looking at the photos to emailing the the guys to online chats with them to arranging to meet them for panty play dates. At the one-on-one dates there was no kissing and no sex, just some rubbing of nylon-clad bodies together. In my mind I was still very hetero sexual.
Then 20 years ago I was diagnosed with prostate cancer, and out it came. I was no longer able to perform as a man, but I now realize that I was about to start losing my masculinity. My testosterone level before surgery was low, and I couldn’t take testosterone boosters because the cancer feeds on testosterone. So over those 20 years I slowly went from a masculine, hairy heterosexual man who enjoyed dressing in lingerie to a man confused by his sexuality.
I’m hair-free and, since my wife passed away last year, dressed completely in lingerie at home. I fantasize about and desire larger breasts. I fantasize about sex with other guys, both of us in fem mode. Recently I spent several nights with a t-gurl. We were intimate, and I was very comfortable with it. I would definitely enjoy more experiences like that. So, heterosexual when I dress? No longer.
As we agree, gender is a continuum and cross dressing is a continuum, but where we are as individuals on them is definitely a function of our age and experiences.
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by Bobbie Lingerie.