Betty,
Pay a visit to the vendor LeoLines on Etsy. This wonderful lady makes panties which not only fully support those man parts, but hides them away. These panties have a well-hidden non-stretch panel on the interior front which flattens things. They are available in a variety of patterns and cuts. Yes, they are made expressly for male bodies, but they are very feminine, IMO, lace trimmed, Lycra, and shiny varieties included!
As for women’s panties which provide adequate support, I like Jockey. Their Elance-brand cotton panties have a sufficiently wide gusset to keep things where they belong. A variety of cuts are available.
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