Hi Jenny,
I am no expert either but I have had dealings with relationship issues through my work.
At your time of life you may be under a lot of pressure with having kids and all that goes with it. It is not uncommon for the sexual side of relationships to dwindle. It is also not uncommon for men to look at porn and use that for the sexual thrill – as this is effectively what you are doing. In my mind the dressing is an other issue if you take my basic overview.
It is good that you are talking to your wife about the intimacy angle and I would look to see why you are where you are as relationships drift after kids come along. It is reconnecting and finding the time to have time to yourself away from the pressure.
As for your own issues, that is down to you to manage. If you try to take the focus away from that and invest it in your relationship, it may reduce. The crossdressing is another issue that you have to sort out in your mind and, if necessary, seek therapy. It seems clear that you love your wife and know the consequences of coming out so keeping a control over it is a must if you wish to have a long relationship.
I do wish you well.
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