Very thought-provoking, Carmen. I am totally attracted to myself when dressed, in every way. So I am simultaneously the man attracted to the woman in the mirror and the object of that attraction. It is both a romantic attraction and a physical one.
You may be familiar with the theory of autogynephilia, which is defined as a male’s propensity to be sexually aroused at the thought or image of himself as a female. It’s a controversial and much-debated theory, and one of the primary objections is the insinuation that cross dressing is almost entirely motivated by sexual urges – in other words, a fetish. The trans community vehemently objects to the notion that it is simply fetishistic activity, and rightly so, because for many it is an expression of gender identity.
I recognize aspects of autogynephilia in myself, but the erotic aspects of CDing are just one part of the experience. I think for many of us there is also a sort of romantic love of the woman we create out of ourselves.
I think it’s fair to say that this sort auto-erotic activity is viewed by most people, especially SOs, as downright
weird, perverted, sick ummm, let’s just say highly unconventional. I struggle with it myself from time to time. I can imagine many SOs thinking (or saying), “So, let’s see, you like to get off by dressing in panties and looking at yourself in the mirror?” I can totally understand why so many SOs feel threatened, disgusted and/or simply want nothing to do with it.
Maybe this doesn’t really answer your question- just wanted to share some thoughts.