You make a very important distinction between the two scenarios, and I agree, they are very different. So why call them the same?
In your personal experience, did it feel the same when you thought you were passing than when you felt you were being accepted?
Acceptance allows us to be ourselves. While passing, at least as a CD, is more about role playing. And when “playing the part”, you only get feedback when you are doing a bad job at it. When you are good… you really don’t have a way to tell if they believed your character, or if they knew and didn’t care, or if they knew and hate it but couldn’t do anything about it, or they knew and even embraced you for who you are.
But while attempting to pass, most restrict themselves to keeping quiet so they won’t be read, or know they will be read the moment they start talking. (So much for passing!). Very different when you feel confident and comfortable enough with who you are! And then you can really socialize with those around you and really enjoy being you and being out and about!! (Much better than pretending!)