I’m sorry this happened this way and I don’t think telling the kids is the right thing to do unless you choose to tell them yourself. Anyway, as the wife of a CD, I feel like your words are placing the blame on your wife. You say she was “snooping.” Was she really snooping or just looking for something? Also, just because she is aware of some things does not mean she should have filled in the rest with her imagination. She isn’t a mind reader and you can’t expect her to be. Permenantly altering your appearance is a world of difference from dressing. It is your body and your choice but as a married couple, you did a real disservice to your relationship without at least talking to your wife first. How would you feel if she had a mastectomy behind your back? You come across as though her reaction is over the top and it isn’t. I think this is one of those situations where you need to take a hard look at your actions and try to imagine things from her perspective. I’m sure she is feeling that you are holding back, her trust in you is broken, and that she has no idea who you really are. These are normal reactions even under the best of circumstances. Your best move now is to pause all of your dressing and anything else that you are doing to give her time to digest this. She deserves, time, space, and honesty and if you love her, you will do that.
Wishing you all the best,
Betty
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