No, no, no Betty – do not put this on yourself. I’m certainly not a therapist, nor a CD expert, but had to respond when you wrote that your therapist said “the urge to CD can (but does not always) come from a place of depression or from a lack of fulfillment in the relationship” . I have to say it riled me up that she would say that to you. Again, not a professional and not even a CDer myself so I can’t answer for the ladies. However, I would bet that they don’t dress because of a deep seeded lack of relationship fulfillment. It seems that most of the things I’ve read show that the gals don’t really know where the desire to dress came from, including my own husband. And, many of the men who dress have been doing so since pre-puberty or early teens, kind of negating the theory about relationship fulfillment. (Unless we are talking mommy issues which is a whole other story, lol).
Crossdressing is nobody’s “fault”, certainly not the SO’s. I think even using that terminology is demeaning to them, as I am sure most cannot help the urge to dress.
I agree with you that no matter how liberal you are in your views, it is different when it comes to your life partner who has thrown you for a loop and potentially derailed your life. You are going in the right direction with open communication and supporting him as best as you are able at this point in the journey. You have every right to feel frustrated.
Stay strong and keep taking those baby steps.
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