#640524
Araminta Purdy
Duchess
Registered On: January 23, 2020
Topics: 9
Replies: 438
Has thanked: 871 times
Been thanked: 1680 times

Hi, Alexis!

I guess the first thing is that if you

    need

to transition you

    will

know it. I can’t think of an instance out of 50-100 cases where transitioning was not seen by the relevant individual as an absolute necessity for an acceptable quality of life. When you consider the pain, hardships, expense, time, effort and poor treatment by bigoted people that one has to endure to fully transition to become as physiologically and legally female as possible, then you realize that the need to transition necessarily outweighs all of that trauma and suffering.

The second thing is to realize that being male and being feminine are not contradictory. While being male might create a tendency towards masculinity (testosterone, you know) it is not an absolute. I have seen and read too many feminine males to believe that femininity is barred by one’s sex. The way I think of it is;

Sex and gender are not the same.
Sex is what you are.
Gender is what you do.

One of these is physiological. Gender arises from one’s personality and personality is a variable. Therefore one can be gender variant regardless of their sex. Personally I feel that traits ‘assigned’ as ‘male’ are not necessarily restricted to either sex, for example. Women were not allowed to do many things that they often do now, and more proficiently, because they were ‘too weak’ or ‘mentally incompetent’ or some other ‘manly’ excuse. If you set aside those personality traits that are actually neither feminine nor masculine (i.e., courage, honesty, nurturing, etc.) then not much is left and they are largely reduced to appearance including dress, mannerisms, intonation, gait, posture, etc. These are all modifiable as any competent actor knows.

Keep in mind, though, that being feminine often creates a different mind-set, self-image and behavioural patterns. This distinction is often initially subtle as we males have often been ‘trained’ to be wholly masculine. Initially our desire to be feminine grows out of our masculine attitude towards femininity but in many cases, the feminine persona becomes more sophisticated, subtle and even preferred. It is something inside you being permitted to flourish in the light after a long darkness. Therefore it is exhilarating and just a bit scary.

So enjoy your journey. Be mindful of the changes. Ask questions but make up your own mind. (After all, opinions here do tend to take a fairly particular stance.) As for growing your hair, I thought that issue was settled over 50-years ago. Short hair is actually recent to cut down on vermin in the armed forces. Even Alexander the Great had his soldiers cut their beards short so the enemy could not grab it. Hair grows. Grow it as long as you like. If anyone objects just stay away from the crazy person. If you don’t have fleas and are not in the military (or both), why should it be an issue?

Araminta.

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