I could relate to this with my hair. Since it’s been long, I’d go out in full guy mode but put it up in a manbun of sorts normally (without wispy or feminine like stragglers hanging down. Recently however, in guy mode, I’ve been feeling really comfortable just styling it like I do in girl mode (minus the ribbons or scrunchie). That means I’ll leave a few stragglers hanging in the front, slightly wavy, and pull the rest into a pony tail, and leave the rest in back hanging down at length.
People treat me the same.