First, I love reading your posts. I am more trans and trying to figure things out. Your posts have meaning to me.
I have been into reading a lot of articles about our minds and belief systems. Since that is freshly in my mind, I would look to you beliefs and does it remind you of something when you were a child? Or were your parents like that? We pick up our parents beliefs were we are small child.
I am not saying that I am correct about this, it’s just the angle that I take when looking at the mind and behavior.