The concepts and relative terminology concerning Sexual Orientation are not only out-dated, radically misinformed and tragically misleading they are based on false premises and precepts that date from over 2,500 years ago and are very harmful.
To me there are only two Sexual Orientations: sexual and asexual. Mostly sexual or humans might die out. The incredibly strong reproductive instincts that motivate us to behave in ways that might be considered irrational at times are not stimulated by the other persons sex. That concept is based on the premise that you actually know the other persons’s sex on a casual observation and since one’s sex (not gender which is observed) is wholly defined by one’s potential reproductive role and can only be determined by the consideration of several factors, including anatomy, chromosomes, genetics, etc., then one cannot be certain of the other person’s sex without some investigation. At least by asking.
Another problem is that there are numerous, ludicrous assumptions about sex and, based on such assumptions, people make conclusions that have no basis in reality.
It is not one’s sex that determines what stimulates sexual attraction but the ‘appearance’ of sex. That is, it is gender based on one’s perceived presentation that attracts potential sex partners. When young man, who is purportedly ‘heterosexual’, sees a gorgeous young lady, he becomes highly aroused. The assumption that, when he learns that the feminine person’s sex is male. the normally ‘heterosexual’ male magically or by some other miracle becomes ‘homosexual’ is so obviously flawed that I do not understand why people keep repeating it.
It is Sexual Identity that is the issue. Persons who are pretty much generally masculine are generally desirous of being the masculine partner and seek feminine partners (of either sex). The prevalence of ‘transgender’ pornography is evident of that. In the case of gay males primarily attracted to masculinity, they seek a co-operative, masculine partner. A male who is inherently and pretty much feminine and is gay (in the sense that they are attracted to masculine males) prefers taking the feminine role as their Sexual Identity because their gender influences their Sexual Identity as the receptive and feminine partner.
Some persons are gender variant in that they transition between masculinity and femininity and, therefore, between Sexual Identities. When masculine, they prefer taking a masculine Sexual Identity and when feminine a feminine Sexual Identity. Not all, but many. Postings on the site are evidence of that.
Assuming that a mostly feminine male who is gay (attracted to masculinity) is the same as a cross-dresser who is sometimes masculine and sometimes feminine is a perceptual error. Fully feminine males who present pretty much continuously as women are not ‘cross-dressers’ as they are not transitioning between genders except in the minds of those ignorant of the distinctions between gender and sex. Males who are fully feminine and transition anatomically to reflect their relatively fixed gender identities are women and generally express a feminine Sexual Identity because there are women. Not ‘transwomen’ as they only ‘transition’ once; just women.
Cross-dressers who desire a masculine male as a sexual partner when presenting as women (authentically) do so not because they are ‘gay’ (attracted to males) but because they are aroused by their own femininity and not necessarily (at least at first) by their partner’s masculinity. (‘Alice in Genderland’, is an example.)
Feminine gay males attracted to masculinity.
Feminine cross-dressers attracted to femininity.
Not the same thing.
Granted there are variations and one’s attitude towards sexuality, sex and sexual partners can vary with experiences that are reinforcing of behavioural patterns. These are matters of personality, personalities can be modified drastically and situationally and personalities consist of a variable mosaic as diverse as the number of existing humans. A male who never though they would have sex with another male can evolve into a woman who has a loving, sexual relationship with a man. You too can be seduced!
A masculine person engaging in sexuality with a feminine person is not gay. A feminine person engaging in sexual activity with a masculine person is not gay. That is a contradiction. ‘Gay’ means masculine-masculine, not masculine-feminine.
The conclusions and terminology presently held regarding sex and Sexual Orientation are also flawed as they rely on the exceptions to authenticate those conclusions and terminology as well as other aspects of human existence. Just because there are four-leaf clovers does not mean that, in general, clovers are not trefoils. Just because some persons whose anatomical, pre-natal development was anomalous (i.e., Lost Twin Syndrome) does not mean that there are more than two sexes or that the sexes are a spectrum. There are instances where there variations in sex. One lizard has five variants of sexes, 2 female and 3 male but they are male or female. Another lizard only has one sex, female. But we are not lizards.
Once again, the key, to me, is to remember that one’s sex and one’s gender (whether variant or invariant) are not equivalencies and the perceived relationships between sex and gender are cultural (subjective) and not necessarily permanent (objective reality).
And that’s without considering androgyny as a valid gender (not sex).
- This reply was modified 3 weeks ago by Araminta Purdy.