I have been misgendered both ways at times. Yes, I was taught that you should use pronouns that match the person’s appearance. Nowadays, even that isn’t necessarily so because of non-binary people. It doesn’t bother me too much any more unless it is said in a malicious tone.
When you give them a card with your male name on it, they may get confused. A lot of cards these days allow you to get a second card for an authorized user, and some even will allow a primary card in your feminine first name (but want your real surname). This may help alleviate some of the confusion.
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