There are plenty of ways to rationalize the answer to the most likely question from wives and SOs, the very common “are you gay?” question.
But most of them are not a match for the mental model most of those wives/SOs understand at the time they are asking. They are mostly asking from the biological view of sexual relationships, as in “are you, my husband who is a biological male, attracted/willing to have sex with another biological male?”. All the rational of “I only like men when/if I’m dressed up like a woman” is beyond what they are wanting and needing to know.
No, I’m not an expert. I can only talk about what I have learned talking with many wives/SOs over the years.