Hi Karla, I’ve been dressing en femme off and on for most of my life, and I’ve never worn tape nor used a gaff. I always tuck, however. I’m fortunate that I can slip my “boys” up inside the canals they dropped from, and when I wear snug panties and most times wear a bladder pad like Poise. I don’t have any fear of anything getting loose even without pantyhose. Sometimes, I’ll wear a thong waist cincher to ensure my tuck stays put, but that can get uncomfortable over a long day, so I reserve it for special outfits or occasions out.
I’ve been curious about the tucking tapes, but I don’t shave everything so I’m reluctant to have to start that in order to use the tape.
If you do just use panties, opt for the stretchy, spandex blend ones. I’ve also heard of a tucking ring you can use with any panty. That might be an option, too.