I’m happy for you that you have such a supporting wife. She is more involved with your dressing than mine is but everyone has to find their own balance. I think that the SO’s whose first reaction isn’t speed dialing lawyers but cares enough and begins to try to understand our kink, will over time, come to accept their partner more and more. Little steps over time seems to be the best way.
I came out to my wife about six years ago and it was the usual reaction most wives have, but since then she has come to accept me as I truly am and now she sees the benefits to having a cross dressing husband. While it took time we have found our limits and a balance and are currently both happy with our situation. She told me the other day that she likes my femininity and says it makes me a better person not just to her but to the world… she even called me her girlfriend which made me so happy. She knows I can be her husband, girlfriend, friend, and partner all in one and shes not going to lose me but we are bonded even more.
Not all SO’s will be accepting and I think it depends on a lot of different factors but coming out and being accepted is so liberating and wonderful it can be worth the risk.