Jessica, it can be soooooo hrd to explain to our SO why we need to express our fem side, espescially when most are not sure ourselves the reason. Maybe let her know that you understand she is having a problem with it and maybe come up with a comprimise. Cut back to only dressing in her view once a week and any other times when she is not around. If you have the desire to go out in public, ask to go out on a girls day out. I am going to assume that to go out and be treated as her friend, Jessica, and just having some ‘girl talk’ would send you into heaven (it would me). Try maybe picking up a fast food meal at a drive though and eatoing it at a part out of the way where you are unlikely to run into people you know. What I am thinking if she can see how much you enjoy this girl time with her just maybe she will lighten up a little.
Unfortunately I don’t see much other thing you can do rather than those 3 choices. 1 go back into DADT, 2 find a comprimise, or 3 end up going your seperate way’s.