Lisa, The question you posed (“why have i such a numbing fear of people knowing who i am“) is a fear that many, many crossdressers have experienced. You are far from alone. CD’s are doing something that is outside of society’s accepted norms and when this occurs members of society can react in a number of ways, some very nicely, some by avoiding the person/issue and some by making threats. We and others acting outside of society’s norms will never, ever be accepted by everyone. We just have to accept it and move on. There are many reasons to be fearful – loss of a marriage/relationship, loss of a job, loss of friends, alienation from family members and public ridicule. Your fears are not unfounded. You have already come out to two people & as time goes on you will probably find a few more. Be happy that they accept you and don’t worry about the rest.
I have been crossdressing all my life but only started going out in public en femme 2 months ago. I came out to 2 people I know yesterday and will only tell another 3 or 4 acquaintances in the future. I will never tell the majority of people I know for a variety of different reasons but I am comfortable with that.
As for pictures, I have none posted here. On another CD site I have posted a few but only for members to see, not the general public. That is my comfort level, you need to feel comfortable with your picture posting choices. If you’re not, don’t post them.