#652249

You’re most welcome Amy

I also get the fear of exposure. I was in the closet for years also as a lingerie only CD and a binge and purger as well.  I know you also remember the old magazines we would purchase before the internet was a big thing.

I would buy them and have fantasies about being the sexy girls featured on the covers. My favorites were the girls lucky enough to work as professional dominatrix’s in New York City. They worked in dungeons along side beautiful women. For me it was an unobtainable fantasy with no chance of ever happening in reality.

Then at 35 I took the plunge and tried make up and a wig for the first time in years and the difference being in make up and a wig made was profound. Even that first crude attempt made with cheap drug store brand make up gave me a spark of confidence. The spark turned into major wild fire.

A good make over might just make you see a sexy older woman in the mirror.

As far as exposure goes I get that as well. I was very sneaky leaving my rural driveway while dressed my first two years going out. Every time I would drive past a neighbor I would worry that they saw me.  At 36 years and 7 months old avoiding exposure became a moot point.

I managed to make my fantasy into reality and I was hired as a T girl dominatrix at a Manhattan dungeon. That was in January of 97 and by July of 97 I was on several covers of the same magazines I once had fantasies about being the cover girl.

At that point my cover was blown. I sacrificed my male life to become Barbie. That is not something many girls can do. I had nothing to lose except a life of loneliness as a male. One of my great discoveries along the way was that in the right hands, make up is magic.

Barbie

 

 

 

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