Welcome to CDH!
I have only had the urge to cross dress for a few years. I have not come out to my wife yet because I am afraid she may feel that I’m doing it because she hasn’t been the woman I want anymore. Sometimes you can try explain that this is not the case, but the woman you married might have some feelings of doubt that can be difficult to overcome.
And yes there is also me not being that manly guy she married.
So the fear factor of coming out is pretty powerful.
In your husband’s case he may feel like he made a mistake in telling you, if he thinks he has hurt you. Maybe that’s why he is going back to hiding things from you.
I know it would just about kill me if coming out hurt my wife. I also know based on how much stronger these feelings are getting for me, that I won’t be able to stop. So I’m going to have to find a way to tell her sometime in the not too distant future.
I hope me telling you my feelings might help your perspective.
I hope you find a way to work this out together!