My situation is similar. When I first came out to my wife she had a hard time understanding and had a lot of questions. I did the best I could to answer them, and to this day questions continue. She felt betrayed and lied to which I understood and still do. Weboth see therapists separately and will discuss what we are comfortable in sharing from our sessions. She has attended a couple of my sessions which helped me to understand some of her feelings and her to understand mine, but not something I would do again. We still have some rough spots but are able to talk and work through them. I still dress only at home when she is not present.
I have found therapy to be very helpful and started at the recommendation of my wife. I think any therapy would be helpful. I would suggest individual therapists for each of you and a separate therapist for both of you together. The reason I say this is that I find it easier to be open in my individual sessions as there are some things I don’t want to discuss in front of my wife. I think some of that is from hiding throughout my life, not only from others but also from myself.
I hope you find this helpful.