Welcome to CDH.
You’re not alone in your feelings, I denied (actually didn’t even recognize) this part of myself my whole life until a couple years ago. I now embrace this part of myself and it feels good to be able to accept who I am. Shortly after I came out to my wife (which was a nerve racking experience) she suggested I go to therapy to understand this part of myself. When I contacted my therapist initially I was sweating bullets and was extremely nervous as I told someone that I am a crossdresser for the first time. Since that time I have become comfortable with who I am. I am only out to my wife and therapist, although I did go to a support group meeting once so the four people that were there met Suzanne. Unfortunately it wasn’t the type of group I was looking for so I didn’t go back, but I was made to feel welcome and was very comfortable being dressed with others. It was an experience I wouldn’t mind having again. Hope to see you in chat and be sure to check out the forums as they provide a lot of advice and encouragement.